Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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