Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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