Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
