She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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