we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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