You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
