She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He shit in the fireplace
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
