I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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