seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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