I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
