So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
