when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
