there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
