Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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