Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
