Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
