Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
