Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
