I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
