you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize