Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
