I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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