We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
