Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
