Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No subtext here. People are naked.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
