i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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