The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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