eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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