Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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