margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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