I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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