May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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