I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
