Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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