you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
