Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
