Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
