Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
