Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize