therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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