SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
