Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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