i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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