Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
