youre lurking in front of me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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