the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
