Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
how drunk are you?
Several
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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