just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
