they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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