They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
