I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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