Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
