when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
