If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
