Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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