Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just gargled with NyQuil
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize