are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
