Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just want nice things and good sex
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
